A Look Back

I will be the first to admit that during the past decade I experienced probably the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.  In 2000, I met the man that I would fall in love with, I would marry and have a child with.  The same man would ultimately deceive me and commit adultery.  At the end of the decade, we would be separated from mid 2008 to the present.

The separation and impeding divorce took a toll on me physically (gained 60 pounds), emotionally (boarderline obsessed with the whys & hows) and financially (savings depleted).  Many days I ached inside.  Many days I wondered if I truly would ever be happy.

On January 3, 2010 I can stand up and shout “I made it”. Yes, some days are rough but I made it.  And my fruit is my beautiful, intelligent, funny 5 year old daughter.  Looking and talking to her makes me realize that I did the right thing and that was saving me 1st.  I know that remaining in my marriage would have killed my soul.  She is a living, breathing testament to what I did and what I am doing right.

Also, credit must go to my fabulous mother, family and friends.  My support system embodies the phrase “ride or die”.  No matter what or when; they are always here for me.  Nothing is out of the question.  Adversity is a filter that helps deceifer those who really love you.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention how my spirituality has grown in the last year.  I am seeking a strong relationship with God and I talk to Him everyday.  I am thankful!  Yes, I am thankful!  For it is now that I understand that even through this trial I am so very, very blessed.  It now I know how Faith & Favor works.  I now know the importance of living for oneself.

As Whi.tne.y sings “I’d thought I’d break but I didn’t know my own strength”. I am committing 2010 to renewal & rebuilding.  I am hoping that this blog will assist me in my journey.  I have started and restarted this blog on a couple of occasions but I am confident that the third will be THE CHARM.